Its not white either.
Many times, I encountered this kind of “not black then white” situation & i’m uncomfy with this kind of mindset.
– I’m freaking busy here. I can’t finish that on time. Hey, you’re progressing so fast, you have nothing to do there right?
>>> not busy is not equivalent to free. I do it fast cos it matters to me & I prioritize it more than other stuffs in my to do list.
– How does she look like? Hmm … fair, tall, not very thin. She’s fat?
>>> not thin is not equivalent to fat. Don’t waste my time adding one more sentence “no, she’s not fat, just average-weighed” before i can continue.
– Why don’t you show up for the teleconference yesterday? You slept early?
>>> not showing up is not equivalent to sleeping early. I have thousands of reasons for not being present. I have another meeting which I want to attend more. I have other work to clear before putting attention to this. I fall sick. I come back from work late etc & etc
– Don’t be angry with me, talk to me!!
>>> not talking is not equivalent to being angry. I just want to have some silent moment to … think.
– Nothing to laugh about. You wanna cry?
>>> not laugh is not equivalent to cry. Can I slap you?
To conclude: In case of confusion and uncertainty, never assume, ask WHY?!