when the equilibrium is off, its off

For so long, I have always been feeling confident and secure living on my own, emotionally and financially independent. But every year, this homecoming stirs up my stable state of mind.

I always told myself this long break should be the time for me to rest and address some of the questions that are lingering in my head. However, it all turns out that I always leave with more questions than answers.

Perhaps its the environments that differ, which results in the difference of common priorities in people’s mindset. I don’t know what I’m gonna do in … lets say, 2 years? Some posibilities are:
– still live in Spore, doing something i like but keep ranting about how boring spore is. (It is indeed boring!)
– be somewhere else (neither Spore nor VN), trying to get a Master or working. Get my ass hurt by adapting myself to the new environment
– come back to VN, married and probably expecting a kid. Pull my hair every day learning how to be a good daughter in law and of cos, mommy
Etc & Etc …

Sometimes I’m confused if I should listen to my parents’ advice or just believe in my rationales. Its the matter of choice and it takes lots of courage, confidence and a whatever attitude to go against the papa’s & mama’s directions. If you think this post is about my future, no its not.

Mom: yea, thats how they spend. They earn 10 and spend 10.
Me: thats good. We never know when we’re gonna die, so save for what?
Mom: oh well, before we die, if we fall sick and have no money?
Me: hmm …

Its not about spending habit as well.

Dad: how’s your work? Everything’s good?
Me: yea, very good.
Dad: salary’s higher, benefits are better, environment’s more friendly?
Me: yup
Dad: job’s easier?
Me: nah … more headache
Dad: always remember you are a girl. You don’t need so many challenges. Focus on health and beauty. Tough jobs shouldn’t be your priorities …
Me: hmm …

Dad: update Mom or me yea?
Me: Mom is crappy
Mom: WHAT?
Dad: then update me. I’ll give you consultation
Me: hmm…
Dad: I will give advice only. You should always be the one who decides.
Me: hmm …

Dad: consider about coming home more often okay. I can’t stand having these few minutes for a freaking long one year.
Me: hmm …

Dad: You should think about it now. We don’t have much time to have such conversation. Next year when you’re back, you’re already one year older and time never waits. Think it through, learn and discuss it. I always support you. Mom always supports you, she’s trying to hide it though
Mom: WHAT?
Dad: *continue* …
Dad: so financial status is still okay?
Me: hmm …


when the equilibrium is off, its off

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