I have been listening to too much wisdom. Craps included. Thing is, I appreciate it all. It’s a process of growing up and I need to face criticism, appraisal, compliments and some hard shots. Sometimes I was told to do this & that and I just follow. The common problem that we all encounter is we don’t have time for some thinking. Things come and go so fast, everybody just does their job as fast as they can. We are like tiny molecules squeezing and pushing each other. One moves when everybody is moving. If one is pushed back, everyone is pushed back.
One of my friends said: I would say I spent my early 20′s trying to fit in, my mid 20′s trying to stand out, & now this latter part just learning to walk through the world reacting to life with my gut as a primary confidant. You can’t be afraid to be alone, to stand alone with yourself. I can totally resonate with this. I have always been questioning where I’m heading to and honestly I don’t know! Anything can happen right? If asking what I want to do, this is what i want to do. It’s been a long time that I finally find something fascinating. I have to say it’s really hard to hold on to it, not mentioning being excellent in it. Peer pressure, family commitments, personal interests and pastimes are always there on our paths. People in my generation are taking over, they are being excellent in it, why can’t I?
At any point of time, it’s always hard to decide on keeping going or making turns. What I envision today might not make it there tomorrow. But what I’m not seeing today might be a stepping stone for me in the future. You are 23, you can be anything – I was told that. But in a blink I will reach mid twenties and soon join the thirties. By that time, I want to be something. I don’t want to look back and ask What have I done during all those years? Making turns is scary, I am uncertain for the decision and I don’t know what is waiting for me ahead. People say: persistence works. I don’t think so if you’re persistent in something wrong. But how can I be sure that I’m going for something right, or at least “less wrong”?
Well, I honestly don’t know. When it feels wrong, just do something to feel right. Am I getting lost? LOL
It’s been too much happening.
This time I’ve grown up a bit. I have already known a bit more about here and there, what common sense is and how to react to certain situations. I think i would be good. Yes, I will be good.