Yesterday Gau bought me this pair of rollerblade shoes after much consideration from both of us.
KC wanted to pick up skating and he’s been telling me to teach him for the longest time. So we decided to go get him a pair yesterday. Ironically, I was able to pick up my pair and settle on it before him. The shop assistant wore the shoes for me and I rolled around to familiarize myself. Gau kept asking whether i liked it or not and I told him he didn’t need to pay for me, I could handle that. He said he wanted to buy it for me cos based on the track record, i always use whatever he buys for me and i would never use whatever i buy for myself. That is pretty true. But given the fact that it’s not a small amount of money, i said: then at least let me share half the price. So we agreed on that and i said let me pay for it with my card first. I was very happy with the shoes and kept rolling around, taking pictures and stuff. Later at night, Gau took the shoes out and took the below pictures, then he told me: no i want to give you this pair of skate shoes as a full present (read: he’ll pay for it all). I was quite uncomfortable with that.
Okay, this is like I’m being dramatic or what. But I always feel so uncomfortable when Gau buys me something on no-special occasion (although sometimes i love it too). I know most girls would be happy when your boyfriend pampers you with presents and stuff. Some of my Singapore friends (they are not necessarily Singaporean) even shamelessly declare: my money is my money, his money is my money. There is no right and there is no wrong in this matter. This is my take:
I have known Gau (my boyfriend) for 5 years now and we have been together for 4+ years. There is no doubt that he’s smart, competitive, aggressive, excellent in his academic results and high-flying in his career. On a side note, he admits that he’s a lucky person and he always says i bring him luck. I take what he is saying. But I also see from my eyes how hard he had tried in school and currently trying at work to be where he is now and further. There is no fruit without hard work, perseverance and determination. And I’ve seen how much he has spent for his family to understand how much they matter to him. I’m just another lucky person to be on his side and to be taken care by him.
Thing is we start work together, we pay school loans together, we save up together, we celebrated the first-month salary together, we don’t do any short-cut. He might earn slightly more than me on a monthly basis but that doesn’t mean he has extra money for me to spend recklessly. Whenever i want to buy something with my own money and i have to think twice, i would do the same if he offers to buy it for me. I don’t want to waste his money as i know he needs to take care of his parents and hopefully me in the future.
Now if we are lucky enough to be able to build a family together, I would expect him to be a solid financial pillars. I’m talking about a big amount of savings or a big buck of stable income. That just doesn’t come easily from one day or two.
Too much of contemplation on a Monday?
And a funny thing is Gau always buys me something on no-special occasion and nothing on a special occasion. I would always be dying for a surprise on my birthday or Valentine’s day and would eventually get disappointed cos ‘i really don’t know what you like…’. However, on a normal shopping day, if i like anything and i take so long to decide on whether i should buy it or not, Gau will buy it for me.
Another funny thing is Gau never gets to buy the thing he likes with his own money because I would stop him from that. For example, he’s been talking about a big-screen TV that he ever wants for thousand reasons like ‘i want to watch movie with a big screen’, ‘now we have a TV line, i want to watch TV in my room’, ‘TV is so cheap now, there are so many good deals’ etc and etc. Of course he hasn’t got one yet cos i’ve always told him ‘let’s save it for our own home baby!’. Probably i should buy him one on Valentine’s Day next year?