I’ve been posting pretty lots of gratitude-filled entries about my clients and friends recently.
In fact, my boyfriend is the underrated one yet who gives me the best support in the world. Let aside those moments he felt apprehensive about my decisions, worried about future plans, angry with me for being so reckless, he makes a wonderful partner.
So as I have given up on putting myself through mysteries everyday, that results in uncertainties that might render our distance in the future. He has been impatient and worried that he rushes me to quickly bounce back on my feet. While i’m enjoying this ‘freedom of mind’ and keep thinking about holidays elsewhere, he is trying to look for alternatives for me, persuades me to focus and prays for me everyday. Yes, this man is taking care of me, more than I do. The only reason he gives me is "because I want to be with you".
The moment before I threw in the towel, he called me and asked if I was really sure. I said "I am". He said: Then do it, I have to take care of you anyways, like I will have to take care of our family in the future. Exactly the support that I’ve been always hoping for, someone who will catch me when I fall. I told him: I know you will and I’m not using that as an excuse to selfishly do what I want to do. Just so you know I will get up again and you have to trust me. So that’s how we agreed on my move.
Now, I still don’t know how my life is gonna be next month. I refuse to think about plan B because somehow I believe that everything will just fall in place. If I do really need a plan B, I accept the fact that I will have to put myself through life tests. Just like it’s said: Believe you can and you’re already halfway there 😀
And a side note, I thought my plants have all died. I said to Gau the other day: I have to remove all these before my mom visits, otherwise she will chant a song of waste to me. For the next consecutive nights, Gau often went out and he told me: I go check out on the plants. So I thought to myself: what’s there to check out, they are all dead. Yesterday morning, I noticed one of the red flowers is popping up again. And Gau told me: hey, i’ve relived your plants. Just that there’s one that’s totally hopeless.
Okay, I don’t know how I had behaved in my previous life. But I’m so thankful that I’m such a lucky girl to be with Gau this life. I love you very very much :***