how does it feels when someone asks you about your baby plan?

So you’re married, the next question is always: when are you having your baby?

And you reply: I will start working on it when (a) …. (b)…. and (c)….. You think that gives them a good indication of what you need to achieve first, before having a baby.

And they continue: You know your parents are getting old, you are getting old, you must have a baby to have a balanced life, you have to make your parents happy, yaddah yaddah yaddah….

What makes you feel now?

I know my parents are getting old and they want to have grandchildren.
I know I’m getting old and my biological clock is ticking.
I know this is something I have to do.

And I feel I’m letting everyone down, more and more by each day it passes by.

I feel like a cruel person that I don’t want to do it yet as I’m selfish and I want to do what I want to do for myself. And I feel like a failure when I’ve been so behind my thesis and I can’t get concentrating. I feel tired of this vicious cycle that I tell myself that I will try a little bit every day but I got distracted by something else. I have disappointed people. And I’m scared that I’m not ready enough, financially and mentally. I’m scared that things aren’t going the way it is and there’s no turning back. I’m scared to talk to the in-laws as I’m 100% sure the question will come up again. No matter how excited I am about the upcoming holiday, I’m scared to go home and face all the questions.

It has never dawned on me how tremendous this pressure could grow to be placed on a woman when other people expect her to have a baby (just like that).

In this very moment, it couldn’t get any more lonely and deflated.

how does it feels when someone asks you about your baby plan?

ways to have clear skin

This is my own formula:

  • always wash the face with cold water (even in winter)
  • try not to touch your face throughout the day (this is hard, i know!)
  • drink a cup of warm lemon and honey drink
  • exercise
  • use no cream, no moisturiser at home, especially when you sleep (i used to rely a lot on moisturiser, so i know this is hard to)
  • use only sunblock when stepping out (i used to use BB cream to cover my blemishes but i resorted to not caring anyway. I just want to have breathing skin 🙂 )
  • use masks once or twice a week. Leave the mask on for only 20 – 30 minutes, not any longer. And always rinse your face after masking.
  • eat less meat, more veggies, and drink a lot of water.
  • don’t be violent to the skin.
  • go to bed early at night.
  • try to replace coffee with tea (i can’t really commit to this)
ways to have clear skin